Born in 1903, Kane Tanaka is the oldest known living woman on Earth.

I often say my aim is to live to be 150. I wonder what I will look like. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not out of fear of passing. I do my best to live it up, so when it’s my time, it’s my time, I don’t plan to resist.

I just want to hear how much crappier music can get between now and 2131. Isn’t that a sign of getting older? Saying the young people’s music sucks nowadays? Because it’s utterly craptastic.

When I get to be 100ish and people interview me on my secrets to longevity, I’m going to make up all sorts of reasons:

-Always reading aloud the terms and conditions of every app I download
-10 orgasms daily
-Consuming raw brussel sprouts (I loathe brussel sprouts)
-Enjoying a steaming mug of hot chocolate mixed with watermelon and avocado juice each morning
-Dancing to Bjork singing opera
-Regular saké and baking soda baths (ok this actually is a thing according to one of my spa books. I have yet to try it. I hear it’s a great detox)

I wonder if this post will bite me in the butt in 60 years? 藍

In her 118 years, Tanaka has observed two world wars, two global pandemics, and survived two bouts of cancer. She is slated to carry the Olympic Torch in Tokyo.

She worked until the age of 103, and is planning to live at least to 120. She credits her longevity to family, sleep, hope, eating good food and practicing mathematics.

I think merlot belongs on this list.