The Defender ♀️

Nicole Snell

(Trigger Warning: My posts tend to be on the lighter side. This is not one of those posts, but this is imperative just the same.)

“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” -Margaret Atwood

My life is infinitely more expensive than a man’s ego…

When I told a woman that I am a solo hiker, she immediately asked me, “What if you get raped or killed?”🙄

When I posted about being stranded for a day at Devil’s Hammock, I had a back-and-forth with a woman that resulted in another woman adding her two cents that wasn’t worth a penny. 🙄 It was implied that I lack common sense and that I do not care about personal safety.

Stop 👏 imposing 👏 fear 👏 and 👏 negativity 👏 on 👏 others. 👏 Keep 👏 it 👏 to 👏 yourself 👏.

I live in a world where I do not WANT to think about certain things, but I HAVE to think about those things. My safety and the safety of anyone that accompanies me is primary. The mere suggestion of me not doing something because of fear equates to suggesting a bird not fly because she might fall or a fish not swim because she might drown. #teampisces

What if something bad happens?

What if it doesn’t? 🤷‍♀️ What if something wonderful happens? With my perspective, the latter almost always does. As a woman, it is important for me to feel empowered and in control of my daily activities, my safety, and my destiny. This is a human right. I see the gaps in my view of the world in comparison with some others. It is up to me to live my life as fully as I can and I hope that others do the same.

After a domestic incident at home (I may share at a later date) I started going to the gun range. I would much rather know my way around firearms and (hopefully) never, ever have to use them than to be caught unprepared. My first time at the range, I recall an older woman who was more afraid to hurt an imaginary threat than to be hurt. I observed as she was losing the mental battle of the theoretical yet imminent danger versus self-preservation. The scenario tugged at me, but it was also a stark reminder of why I was there. Every other woman was there at the prodding of their spouses. I extend a round of applause to those who educate and encourage their loved ones to defend themselves. I hope collectively we become equally as diligent in encouraging people not to victimize others.

Conversely, what happens when no one else is around to protect and defend me? Worse still: what happens when the person I thought was supposed to defend me is the one I need to be defended from?

It is not my intention here to say yay or nay for someone else to arm themselves. To each her own. As always, this is simply my thought process to ensure I make the best decisions for me.

In Detroit I lived in a groovy neighborhood called Brightmoor. I had huge, dense evergreen trees in front of my yard, behind the fence. I loved the shade and privacy. Yet the neighbor next door asked me periodically about having them removed for fear of someone hiding in the trees, waiting to ambush me. Well if I wasn’t thinking about that before, I was then!

I provided professional outcall massage therapy to clients around the Metro area. Two prospective male clients started with harassing phone calls. One escalated. My best option was for several individuals to have a chat with him on my behalf (and by chat, I mean chat, nothing more). The harassing calls stopped.

At one point there was a serial predator that terrorized the neighborhood for a few weeks. They mentioned the latest attack on the news: it happened as a woman was exiting her car. A woman co-worker commented, “Why was she alone in Brightmoor?”

What kind of a country and world is this where the victim is blamed for living out her daily life?

Simply put: We live in a world where it is easier/quicker/more logical to teach women to defend than to teach men not to offend. If you disagree, I am fully open to discussion.

I am thankful we also live in a world where there are people like Nicole Snell and organizations like Girls Fight Back®. Nicole, too, is a solo hiker, as well as a speaker and instructor for self-defense and violence prevention. Admittedly, I get furiously emotional when watching some of the demos, but I see the importance in the knowledge and techniques that she shares. Cheers to Nicole for the impactful videos that help others feel confident, capable, and empowered.

Website –
YouTube Channel – Nicole Snell
IG – @adventuresofnik
IG – @girlsfightback
Facebook – @girlsfightback

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