Today I vocalized a happy birthday to one of the dearly departed, my younger brother Julian. He would have been 42.

I also acknowledge that he has been not-alive longer than he was alive.

In memoriam, I turned on some late 1990s music, starting with 2Pac, then Eminem, and I contemplated who is an artist today that he may like.

(Insert sound of crickets chirping)

The music took me back to several simple and complicated times in my life and our lives as a family.

I had just earned my first college degree at 18 and was on track to earn my second by 20. When the January semester started, I remember crying silently over my statistics homework. Not because of the class, although that would have been valid too.

I was mentally and emotionally anguished, and I made the difficult decision to drop out. I never went back.

My existence marched on.

As a tribute to home, I rounded out the memory lane trip by playing Big Sean. I think Jay would have liked him.

Today I imagined my brother Crip walking in the cosmos, and I felt his joy in remembrance.

I saw some other birthdays on my timeline, which was exciting. I also saw a post marking the loss of a genius in the massage therapy profession, Erik Dalton.

As I prepare to reenter the field since my break beginning in 2017, I have been watching his educational videos and was hoping to take an in-person class later this year. It was not meant to be.

Existence marches on.