I have a hard time asking for and receiving help and generosity from others. I have been let down in simple and complex ways. So I overthink, over-analyze, over-prepare.

I understand now that this is a trauma response. I cannot change the past. It has sculpted parts of the inner me.

Two weeks ago, someone offered me water. I declined. I had my own. A bit of time passed. Maybe he forgot he already asked, because he offered water again.

“No, thank you.”

Then a little tingsha sounded gently in my brain.

Despite already having water, I changed my answer.

“Yes, please.”

I thanked him when he brought the water.

Simple, yes?

Not really, but I’m learning. I know and feel that I move and act with purpose and intention. I give parts of myself generously, sharing my energy, intuition, and experience with others. This is part of my charge: to be of service to others.

When the music sounded in my head two weeks ago, I realized that I need to allow space for others to live their purpose also. Others can be generous, thoughtful, and helpful too.

I don’t have to do everything.

Wait, what?!

I have reflected on that moment here and there over the last two weeks. Solidifying it so I can recognize when I have future opportunities to allow others to rise up to their own occasions.

Yesterday when I was offered water by someone else, I did not hesitate.

“Yes, please.”

I thanked him when he brought the water, even though I still had my own.

Letting go is hard. Holding on is harder.

✨New Moon Blessings